Brewing. Marinating. Sitting. I’ve had something within me for the last week. Something. Something that I couldn’t figure out how to put into words, nor could I shake it to move on, move forward, or ignore. A word, or words, a feeling, an unsettled emotional sift. It was brewing. This brings us to this post, please bare with me on this one, as it will go so many directions, but powerful all the same, if not for anyone else, for myself. Let’s begin.
Sunday, as I walked to the alter, for prayer, I could feel the uneasy within me. It’s as if my body had ran out of air, and I would soon find myself lying on the floor, stepped outside of me and watch as I left this place, but it never happened, thank goodness. Weird? Yes, at least for myself. I saw all of this in a flash, as I tried to move, but couldn’t for a good 5 seconds. I was tired. Physically exhausted? No, not that kind of tired. I was emotionally drained, but not sure of why. As I began to speak to her about my prayer, I heard the words that I never voiced out loud, and was shocked by the things I was saying. “I’m tired, I feel like the closer I get to him, the more opposition I find in my life. I’m tired. Tired of this constant fight, the struggle, the test, I’m tired, the opening of doors, just to have others slammed in my face. Why is my faith being tested? I need the strength to continue on, because I feel like giving up, but my faith is bigger than my doubt.” Now we move forward to Monday…
On Monday night, my church hosted Bishop George Bloomer. It was a full house, perhaps 1000 people. As he began to pray, he pointed to me. He asked, “What’s your name?” I answered of course, “Tasha.” and his words matched exactly what I had prayed about on Sunday. He said, “Wow, you’re about to see a shift in your life. In 2010, expect that all the doors opening and closing will be over. All of that is over.” The words left me speechless for a moment, and then I realized, this is exactly what I’d prayed for the day before, there was my confirmation. As I was leaving someone said to me “Brace yourself, you went through all of this to prepare you for all the greatness that is about to happen.”
This leads us to last night. Dr. Marvin Sapp was the guest last night, amazing service, beautiful voice as most know him for, but it’s not his preaching that left me speechless. My words were Abrupt, they were Loud, and repeated. As we were driving home, my mother and I, we hydroplaned and my Suburban was out of control. In that moment, I reached my arm to my right, as if to hold my mother back to her seat, and held on to the wheel with my left hand, and told her, “Brace yourself!” As I said the words, I heard everything I’d dealt with over the last few weeks whispered in my ear, and the words “Brace yourself, Brace Yourself.” It was a moment, as I steered the truck, making sure not to over correct, I realized, it wasn’t just me saying it. It’s as if God himself stepped in, put the vehicle back under control, and said “Brace Yourself.”
You see, all the challenges that I had gone through in the last month, all the tests, all the tears, the only thing I’d prayed for was for the strength to keep my faith in tact.
Dr. Marvin Sapp preached from this very verse… Luke 22:32. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”
If you’ve read along with me this far, I say all of this to share this… When there is an unsettling feeling within you. Make note. Pay attention, there is a word in it, that you’re somehow missing. The answer was always there, but I wasn’t listening. It took my vehicle to begin to spin out of control, for my life to be on the line, for God to get my attention and say, “Keep your Faith in tact, even when you feel I have left you, I have it under control.”
So to those that know me, and those that love me, believe in me… I tell you this… “Brace Yourself” because 2010 will be a marvelous shift into a greater knowledge of self, growth, business, and faith… Get Ready, because I ran out of excuses, and it’s time to step into the purpose that I know has been placed on me… Love ya, Ms. T
Because all posts deserve an image…
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