Dear Mommy,
It’s days like today, that remind me of who I am, and where I’ve come from. Where I come from and who has helped me get to where I am, wow… Days like today, when it’s barely 20 degrees outside, a baby’s blanket of snow on the ground and a pot of homemade vegetable soup is on the stove. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve waited a long time for this day. The day when the minutes seemed like hours and we just got to treasure, God’s time. The moment that when I look around, I realize there are four generations of women here in this moment, from 80yrs old to 7yrs old. That’s a blessing, on a day like today… You see, I remember the days of cancer, the days of surgeries, the days of tears, long days in court… Today, is a new day. You are here. God’s a healer…
Do you remember? The big yellow bowl? The kerosene heater, and rice krispy treats? The power was off because of the snow storm, and you let us make rice krispy treats on the kerosene heater. Shanell and I joked about this, just this morning. It sat at the end of the hallway, between our room and yours. The big yellow bowl was outside in the front yard, collecting the snow. It couldn’t be the first snow though, I’m still not sure why? Perhaps one day, I will understand… Living in North Carolina, it took forever to fill that big yellow bowl. We’d keep peeking outside to see if the big yellow bowl was full. Full of fresh snow, you’d venture outside, grab the bowl and make us some SNOW CREAM? Wow. Our childhood… I smile. She smiled.
While we didn’t break out the big yellow bowl to fill with snow, the soup is rested on the stove. The fire is blazing instead of a kerosene heater and instead of me being the child waiting to run outside in the cold, it’s my own. I realize where I come from. I am who I am because of you. I am strong because of you. I believe in my dreams because of the sacrifices of your own for us. For that, a day like today, makes me grateful to be here, in this moment.
I’m writing this, so I can remember days like today. I’m writing this so that when I get to where I KNOW God is taking me, I will remain humble and remember these days. Days like today, remind me that I should never let people judge me, because they truly do not know my story… Love you, Ma.
Ps: I will write the book like you said when I was in 2nd grade and won the poetry contest. But for now, I will publish a book of my work, THIS YEAR in 2010. A day like today reminds me that while you didn’t understand two years ago my dream of photography, you didn’t try to kill it either.
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